Short Lived

Short Lived – Timon Tan

With the door closed behind her, her privacy was ensured. No intruding force could enter with out her knowing of its presence. Privacy of course, having one’s own space without other’s information or knowledge of the events that occurs within one’s privacy. It was like a circle. Everything inside her circle was her privacy that no one knew, no one could touch, and no one would ever enter. Closing the door, and locking it behind her just extended her privacy circle, not just by a little, but by nearly thirty feet more. Her privacy circle extended all the way to the walls of her house, but no more.

Within that privacy circle however, she had a visitor. Someone whom she had invited as a guest into her private retreat, someone who for that night, she would break her privacy boundaries to keep grasp of.

Ryan was a boy. Silent and meek. Not too handsome, but still, considerably pleasant good looking. His face was littered with pimples all over, his cheeks, forehead, everywhere. A faint mustache grew right above his lips that was not too bushy but still enough to give the distinct look of age and maturity. He shaved his beard often but the new growth of base hair gave it away. His head hair was pretty long actually, extending all the way to his ear, though not covering it. He allowed it to grow and look natural, not using and sort of gel or cream to enhance his looks. Being one of a timid nature, he was not adept at sports or any of the muscle required activities. Having muscles to impress his girl or being famous for scoring the winning goal was not his way of going about things. Rather he did not impress her at all, but she allowed herself to be impress by his nerdy and jerk like ways.

So it was, Ryan, a boy, and Christine, a girl, were all alone in the house. Her parents were not going to be back for the week end, and Ryan’s parents thought he was at his friends place. This setup was impossible in reality though, but it was through deception and sneakiness that it was made possible. A boy and a girl, both who liked each other were in the house alone.

She did not intend it to happen though, but it just ‘happened’. The two of them took advantage of their temporary privacy, sitting on the couch together, eating pop corn, heads together, watching their favourite movie. Eating in the living room was normally not allowed, but of course, parents were not here to enforce the rules, and thus, like all rules, it was broken, one way or another.

The two of them, slowly, but surely, came closer together to each other. They both touched each others hand, experiencing an intimacy between them that no one else could experience. It was a first for both Ryan and Christine, their hearts beating fast as they began to realize what this meant for both of them, what it meant for them to be holding hands. Whether the proceedings were coincidental or deliberate, they both enjoyed it.

Christine blushed as she began to absorb her feelings. She knew she was falling for the nerd head Ryan. Although she denied it with her logic, her heart said otherwise. Why would she enjoy holding hands with a nerd? Why? She guessed, or rather, she felt was that she actually liked him.

Giggling at this revelation to her, Ryan was surprised with her action. Slowly, he placed his palm on her shoulder, signaling her to calm down, wanting to ask what she was giggling at. Christine came to a stop, but at once, looking at Ryan again, began to laugh uncontrollably. Ryan, confused, just played along, laughed as well just for the sake that Christine was laughing.

Then during the laughter, it was then Ryan realized why Christine was laughing. They were holding hands! Holding hands! Impossible! He never thought that he would do such a thing! At the beginning of the year, he thought that holding hands with a girl was disgusting…revolting to say the least, now he was holding hands with the girl he liked.

Caught up with laughter, Christine lost her sense of balance. She fell from her head grip on the couch, her head ending up in Ryan’s lap. She sighed, relieving herself from the laughter that she was so caught up with. She closed her eyes and rested.

Ryan, being good natured, and also naïve as well, began to stroke her. He stroked her hair in a downward position, correcting it from the bends and mess that was made when she fell on his lap, and she enjoyed it.

To Ryan she appeared like an angel. An angel, resting on his lap, enjoying the affection and tenderness that he was showing her. Her closed eyes, placid face, and shimmering hair slowly turned his heart soft. It was like taking a potato, mashing it, making it easy to swallow. It was not surprising that soon Ryan began to follow his heart, not his brain, his logic.
Christine did the same, for during that moment of calm and relaxation, Christine’s gave over her thoughts, allowing her brain to rest and simply, following instinct, following what she naturally would do. Like sleeping, where one at a point of time, give over to rest and sleep, so did Christine. She gave over to her heart, her emotions…

It was not long before Christine’s and Ryan’s head came together. They gave both of each other their first kiss, hugging each other around the waist. Enjoying it, they did the same again. Even better! The both did the same. Extravagating! Heaven! Bliss!

They both enjoyed the warmth. Their bodies were together, their fronts, moving in perfect synchronize. They kissed in a motion that was as graceful as ballet dancing. She hugged Ryan closer…yes! That felt good…so good! Amazing!

Ryan felt the same as well…his pulse rate was increasing, accelerating the flow of hormones all over his body. Testosterone it was, making his actions more erotic by the second. He wanted to fulfill those desires created by the hormones. It was overwhelming him, taking over his entire body…and it did.

Being more bold then ever, his hands reached down, touching an area he should not have. He did a goose on Christine. She cried out, cried out in sudden fright, than taken over by her own hormones as well. For that moment that she cried out, her logic came back to her. She knew she was heading in the wrong direction, but she was nearly there! She was nearly there! She has nearly reached the end! There was only one more step to go…and it involves much much more audacity. She knew she could not…but she wanted to! She really wanted to!

Christine reached down to Ryan’s jeans, unzipping it. Than it all got out of control. She vaguely remembered it as a dream, but it was real enough. Within the minute, she felt Ryan’s hands reaching down her rear, her privacy circle was dangerously merging with Ryan’s circle. It was slowly becoming one. Vividly, they made their way to her bedroom, continuing their love making on the bed. Arr yes, the touch…she enjoyed it, exploiting her body for its pressure, fulfilling the want within her…yes. Fulfilling it so fully…she did not even realize it…that for within that moment of pleasure, she experienced the ultimate pleasure one’s body could provide…she felt it. Like a dog, she moaned as she felt it and passed through her entire body like a ripple…then blacked out. Their privacy circle, merged.


Ryan awoke. It was morning. He did not recognize the bed her was in. The covers had flowers, his covers was plain brown. The room was not his as well, bewildered for that moment. He fell onto his side, onto something. He jumped in shock, falling from the bed onto the floor. He knew whose room this was. Christine’s. He than realize he was naked. What?

Ryan slowly pulled himself up, looking towards the bed in shock. Impossible! He could not believe he did such a thing. Never in a million years. His logic told him that he could not do such a thing, but yet he did.

Christine laid in the middle of the bed. She was undressed too, her frail fragile body laid there, looking so delicate again, looking innocently. There was blood on her bed sheet, and other spots of liquid. He knew what it was…he knew what had happen…

He looked around, desperately searching for his clothes. It was not in the room. It was in the hall. He rushed for it, dressing himself in a hurry. He grabbed Christine’s clothes as well and dashed for the room. She was awake by then.

“Ryan…what happened?” She whispered as he came in. He stood there in shock, holding her clothes in his hand. It took Christine a while, before she figured what happened.

“Ryan….what the…we did not really did it did we?” She croaked, her eyes widening.

Ryan could not speak. He only nodded his head. Christine looked down, realizing she was undressed. She spotted the blood on the sheets. She knew it…they had done it.

“Christine…I’m sorry. I didn’t knew…I didn’t.” He began to cry. He broke down, crumbling at the entrance. He could not handle the facts that began to emerge…he could not…could not.

“Leave…just leave.” Christine said softly. Ryan picked up himself, and left.


For the next month, the both never spoke. Ryan was never the same, his friends noticed the change in him. He was more quiet, more introverted. He still could not grasp how he could have did it to Christine. His friends noticed another change as well. Ryan and Christine were no longer together. They avoided each other totally in school. Ryan even lied to the teacher to get out of chemistry class when Christine’s class had a joint lesson with his. All his friends knew he was not ill, yet he claim he was, giving the reason that his periods were up. The teacher stared at him in total disbelief, but eventually let him go.

He did not know what to do. He could not tell anybody. They would both be shipped off to hell if he did. He took away Christine’s virginity, he lost his as well, but worse off, he realize that the events that night, that was suppose to symbolize wholeness of one to the other in the event of marriage, was breeched. He could no longer even attend church without feeling any hint of guilt. Self condemnation followed from the songs he sang and the thought of standing at the white throne with the sin he had done was simply indescribable. It pained him.

Christine had problems of her own as well. Besides the same pain that she had, something was beginning to happen. Her mornings were now plagued with nausea and vomiting. She felt tired more often, and once even fainted in physical education. People noticed that Christine was a transformed person, now one of total lost and depression. It was true. People even said she was suicidal.

Speculation began to circulate. Something between Ryan and Christine had happen. All sorts of things went around, from physical abuse, to a failed date, to what Ryan feared the most, the truth, that they did it together.



One day, out of the blue, Ryan received a phone call from Christine. She sounded sad…depressed. He trembled as he recognized the caller…but he knew he had to stand up to it. His attempts to redeem himself, to be wash clean again. He prayed daily, and confessed it to someone he could trust most. Mostly importantly of all, he knew he had come clean with the One on High, and all that left now was to apologize to Christine.

“Ryan…I want to say goodbye.” She said simply.

“Christine. I want to apologize, I’m..sorr-.”

“Ryan. I’m pregnant. My parents just found out. It’s over. It’s over.” She interrupted him with that piece of fact.

“Christine. Don’t do it. Don’t abort the baby, it’s a life. It’s-.”

“Ryan. Goodbye. I will see you hereafter.” She said with the coldest voice ever, and then, the phone went dead.

Fear began to dwell within Ryan. His mind began to imagine things. Maybe Christine was really going to abort the baby, or she was going to let the cat out of the bag…or…commit suicide.

He began to feel concern for her. He recalled her voice and what she said. She was dead serious. Goodbye was all that was said. And the words, hereafter. His eyes widen. Oh my… Than an unknown pain struck him in the heart, he winched, thinking it was heart burn from all the fat he consume earlier on. But what he did not know, his circle…their circle, Ryan’s and Christine’s, had shattered. Recovering, he reached for the phone, dialing the number that he had not touched for the last month, that was still so familiar to him.

“Hello. Mrs Le?” He spoke.

“Ryan. What is it this time? To screw with my daughter once more? What? Mess up her life?”

“No, madam. Mrs Le, Christine just called me. I believe that she’s going to do something stupid.”

Mrs Le stood silent for a while, she refuse to believe him. Maybe it was just a way to attract attention, but then again, he might be right…Christine had cried all night…screams and sobs came from her room. Depress she was.

“I’ll check.” She said, and walked to her daughter’s room with the cordless in her hand. She reached it and knocked softly in the door.

“Honey? Are you all right?” She asked. No response. She tried again. Nothing. Maybe she was asleep or just crying softly. But she wanted to check just in case. She opened the door.

The first thing she noticed was blood…..